To add to the pain, during that same year, Victor was sexually abused by a family friend who told him not to say anything to his parents because they would be mad at him. So, Victor kept this painful moment buried deep in his mind for over ten years. The incident even caused him to question his sexuality because of his confusion and guilt over the incident.
Then, on September 3, 2001, Victor received a phone call from a policeman telling him that his sister had been involved in a shooting. Her husband shot her four times before committing suicide. His sister died three weeks later.
After everything he had been through in his childhood, he now had additional pain, confusion, anger and sadness dealing with the loss of his sister. But Victor finally began his healing phase as he stopped asking the WHY questions.
“I believe wisdom is in the question and not the answer. If you don’t ask the right question you don’t get the right answer. I asked WHY many many times. Why was my father an alcoholic? Why did he hit my mom? Why did that person abuse me? Why did my sister die? These questions can lead to the answers that could help one cope. However, I refuse to cope. I want to overcome because that’s how I can be of service to people.” – Victor Pacini
Victor rallies to remind us that life is not always perfect but if we change the way we look at things the things we look at change. Victor has now become a successful motivational speaker and author. He routinely speaks as schools and organizations about how to move forward with your life.
While visiting a school, Victor asked a boy “What do you want to be when you grow up?” He said,”I want to be a professional skateboarder.” I then asked him “Do you ever fall off your skateboard?” “All the time,” he said with a smile. I proceeded, “Do you just lay there and wait for someone to come get you?” He said, “No, Victor. I get up, dust myself off and get back on the skateboard.” Victor told him that’s the secret to life. We will all fall, but it’s what we do with the fall that’s the key. You can live in the fall for the rest of your life but it will be difficult because you will always be blaming someone. Victor takes full responsibility for everything in his life. He can’t change what happened in his past, but he feels that he can control how he lives his life in the future.
Check out the video below and visit Victor’s webpage to learn more here: www.victorpacini.com